For you.

(This entry will probably be the most embarrassing thing I'm ever gonna do. But it's 5 am and I'm feeling blue, so I'm gonna suck it up and continue.)

There come times, that you meet someone that's a perfect match for you. You look at them and you find all the answers. There's that connection between you, that you can start a conversation just by staring at each other. You share everything, and you know you can count on them. No, I'm not talking about lovers. I'm talking about friendship. The real deal.

I had that once. I had that perfect eye thing and the sharing and everything. I had a person that I loved dearly and even though it's been years since the last time we hung out, I still think of her every single day. Because she's always in front of me. She's my measurement: I always compare people to her and her "perfectness".
I find it difficult to remember the exact things I loved about her... It's been so long. What I know is that everytime I think about her, I feel nostalgic and all of a sudden, lonely. I never had that bond with anyone else, only her. (no offense current friends, I love you but... It's just not the same.)

Dear friend,
I doubt that you ever think of me. Life's been kind enough to give you happiness, so you wouldn't have to look back. But the truth is that since I lost you, my world fell apart. You were the only one who got me. With you, I was myself, I didn't have to hide, or pretend. You knew me....
I'm happy for you... But I pity myself for never getting over you.  I love you.

A Child's Kingdom

Remember back, when we were just little kids, we thought we could easily conquer the world... So long ago... It's been that long since I dreamed of something impossible. For me, dreaming is down to things I can easily do, because I lost my faith to believe long before I even realised. Life's been hard, and my childhood somehow seems like several lifetimes ago. When I was a young girl, I had only one goal: To reach the stars. I wanted to fly so high, that I could touch the angels. Then that dream was replaced by other ones, smaller and irrelevant to my previous goal. Suddenly, I was somebody's role model, and somebody's girlfriend and everybody's expect-to-turn-out-as-we-aprove person. I lost my way and I forgot about what I really was. All those childish dreams, of Kingdoms and princes, ended up being just a blur in my memory. And here I am now, regreting every moment of giving up. Regrerting the fact that even though I was meant to do great things, I'm sitting here lonely and complaining about my life. I'm the only one who gave up on that little girl's dreams. Now the kingdom is ruined and the prince is turned into a frightening beast. And the only thing that can fix all this is faith. Faith in me. I 'm tired of regreting things I never did. It's time to make new dreams, big ones. And never regret or look back again.